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about

Bears came about in a hilarious way. I used to spend a fair bit of time on LiveJournal and the internet being what it is I became friends with one of my favorite authors - Poppy Z. Brite. At some point they wrote lyrics to a country song they thought could never actually work. So (with their permission) I took the words and a melody line / basic chord progression to my gothic murdergrass band Rhubarb Whiskey and we woodshedded that song until we landed on a sweetly dark ballad about drinking in Alaska. Fast forward to now - Rhubarb Whiskey is on a 7+ year hiatus and I re-arranged the song into more of a crowd sing-a-long rowdy bit of fun. This take features the Hootenanny Bootleg Kitchen Singers from Victoria, BC.

lyrics

Bears

In a bar in Talkeetna, Alaska,
I was having a Wild Turkey night
For my baby sent me to Alaska
Just to prove her geography right.
As I sat there a-sippin' my bourbon,
A feller burst into the bar,
And he said, "Y'all better keep drinkin'
Cause you cannot get back to your car."

(CHORUS)
There were bears, (BEARS) bears in the lot
Bears in the lot and tears in my heart
There were bears (BEARS) bears in the lot,
Bears in the parking lot.

Now I always been frightened of Nature,
Not to mention an ole grizzly bear,
But tonight if he started to eat me,
I wasn't real sure I would care
For my baby sent me to Alaska,
Though I thought what we had was real nice,
Cause she wanted to prove that Texas was bigger
And Alaska was all made of ice.

(CHORUS)

Well, all eyes were on me when I slid off my barstool
And went walking out of the place.
Didn't matter to me if that bear ate my spleen
Or tore off my poor crying face.
I said, "Mr. Bear, I'm a loser
In love and geography too,
And now I'm a crapulous boozer,
Might not even be good food for you."

(CHORUS)

Mr. Bear said, "Doc,
It about stops my clock
Realizin' how sim'lar we are,
Cause you know Mrs. Bear
Kicked me out of our lair
Why you think I done come to this bar?"
So we set to drinkin',
And by the next mornin',
Wasn't no one could tell us apart!

CHORUS

credits

from Mark's Yard, released November 14, 2018
lyrics by Poppy Z. Brite, original arrangement by Rhubarb Whiskey, current arrangement by Cindy Emch

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Secret Emchy Society Oakland, California

"One could describe Emch as if Nick Cave had grown up in Bakersfield with a dynamic swagger that could part the Red Sea." - NoDepression

The Secret Emchy Society plays foot stompin' heart breakin' California country tunes for gay cowboys, queer witches, and all kinds of cowfolks.
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